i am breaking my no blog rule this sembreak. UGH. i have been bumming around the house for more than a week now, for those of you who'd want to know. i have a list of things to do this sembreak, and so far i have accomplished none. wala. zilch.
amfness lang ang break na to; kung kelan may time ka para gawin ang mga bagay-bagay, nawawalan ka naman ng ganang gawin sila. taena, bakit pa kasi nauso ang sembreak? may reason pa tuloy akong magpataba during the sem, kasi may sembreak na sasalo sa crash diets kong wa-effect.
anyway, the real reason i was itching to blog is because of something that happened last night that i wanted to write down before it totally goes to the back of my mind and collect dust. (wow, haba ng sentence.)
you see, this sembreak has plagued me with all things past. i don't wanna expound on that idea, but for the benefit of everybody, i'll narrow it down to the lovelife section.
as if there are other sections plagued by the "past" issue. hmp.
i came home to find out that (1) my first high-school crush (translation: first real crush nung tumuntong na ako ng high school) is now teaching at our former alma mater, and is the Math teacher of one of my sisters, and basketball coach of my brother.
WHATTHEPACKSHEET?! (clarification: 3 years po agwat namin, at 2nd year college na po ako ngayon) good thing i'm studying miles away, or i'd have died last june pa. my gaaahd. the sight of him just makes me... NO COMMENT. sabihin na lang nating meron pa.
meron pa mehn, meron pa. taena.
i dunno if that counts as a bad thing, but the next one certainly does.
finally, after one year and seven months of hanging on a thread (sounds so cliche), after over a year of constant questioning as to what's really going on between us, i have come to realize that this thing isn't for keeps, and that it is evident that (2) he (whoever he is right now) has no plans of making this thing work. well, feeling ko lang naman para akong bayaran diba. "tayo" pag andito ako, tas biglang di tayo magkakilala pag nag-aaral na naman tayo. wow, i wonder how i managed to keep it up for a year and seven months. and to think the longest i've been in a real and official relationship was seven months.
hanep mehn, ang loyal ko pala sayo, kahit na pokpok ang trato mo. (for lack of a better word - pasensya if na offend ko kayo.)
GRRR. i am so not showing my face to you hanggang sa makabalik ako ng UP. at wag ka ding umasang makakausap mo pa ako sa pasko. asa mehn, asa.
anyway, the really real (to further emphasize) reason for this blog would be, again, what happened last night.
alam mo yung pag matutulog ka na, nakahiga ka na at lahat-lahat, waiting to fall asleep. so you think of things while waiting na antukin ka.
it's a wonder how random these thoughts before you sleep get. mine happened to be about my ex, or so i think he is my ex.
people who are close to me know the story, and i'm really not in the mood to tell you guys a sad story right now. sorry if i seem so vague. actually, there's the word i was looking for, the one word that would completely describe the relationship: VAGUE.
sigh. the moment the thought of him crossed my mind, i suddenly... missed him.
shame how thoughts give you that in-your-face reminders that there are some things that you wished...
just worked out. but didn't.
well, here's to the word forget. to whoever coined it, thank you. i guess when coined it, you didn't realize how painful the word could be.
especially when it's used on you.
*PS. this is an informal, spur-of-the-moment blog.
*PPS. apologies for the code-switching. informal blog nga eh.
*PPPS. if you ever get to read this, please don't be mad. at least now you know that i still have the feeling. kinda.
*PPPPS and ang huling banat (galing sa plurk ng roommate kong si Kikai [yes mehn, people who live together make banat forever - whatever]):
If not, have the self-respect to keep them out.
*PPPPPS at isang pang hirit galing kay dang (wahehe, eto na dang oh):
Kung gusto talaga natin mag-move on, we have to let go of EVERYTHING. Even those cute, happy memories. So we might as well choose not to associate things kasi lalo lang narerelive yung memories. :) Ignore na lang, or just don’t pay much attention to them. Isipin na lang natin temptations sila. Hahaha. Deadly temptations.
So the next time may makita kang pangalan sa WordFind na kahawig ng pangalan ng ex mo, or the next time na marinig mo yung kanta niyo na kinakanta sa videoke ng kapitbahay niyo, you can probably allow limited thoughts to enter your mind.
Afterwards, JUST DROP IT. :)
Wag na nating ikwento pa sa mga kasama natin. Tipong, “Tingnan mo tong ano o. Hmp. “ Kasi aasarin lang nila tayo, and I believe that would only make matters worse.
Just simply drop it. :)
Mahirap? Sa simula siguro. But just like everything else, magiging madali na lang yan pagtagal. After all, gusto natin makaget-over at mag-move on, di ba?:)
Kaya natin to!:))
Remember : DROP IT. Like it’s hot beybeh!:))
OK guys, ang kakanta ng I'll Be ni Edwin McCain, MAMATAY NA. amp. joke. XP
0 strangers:
Post a Comment