for lack of something better to do.

due to boredom and a minor case of writer's block, i rummaged through my files and found old articles, samples of my oh-so-mediocre writing, and have decided (for lack of something much more better to blog) to post it here (para naman magkalaman itong blog ko).

so here's an old write-up of mine, something i came up with prior to going to UP. a common case of the crossroads.

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ASPIRATIONS

The very first time someone asked me what I wanted to be when I grow up, I told them I wanted to be a teacher. I wasn’t really shy as a kid, & I took pleasure in reciting in front of the class, explaining this & that, even taking over for the teacher when she’s got to go to the potty. Even at a very young age, my aspiration to be an educator was set. Or so I thought.


In high school, I became a campus journalist, joining press conferences here & there. I enjoyed the experience of meeting new people, exploring new places, learning new things. Journalism encompasses three of my greatest passions: knowledge, adventure, & writing. Because of this, I changed my aspiration from becoming a teacher to being a freelance journalist, or even a novelist. I thought I had found my calling. During my third year, we took up ancient civilizations in my social studies class. Never did it cross my mind how exciting & interesting early cultures were until that very moment. The Roman empire, Greek architecture, the Shang dynasty, ancient Egypt, the Mayan civilization - each & every one was eye-opening & stimulating. From then on, I realized that I was thirsty for more knowledge of the world’s history, & that my future was to become a historian. Little did I know my mind would change as frequently & fast as a blink of an eye.


Each & every time I experienced something new & thought-provoking, my aspiration in life changes, every single one more ambitious than the previous. I’ve fancied taking culinary arts (despite the well-known fact that I am terrible in the kitchen), desired to become an ambassadress & be in foreign affairs (emulating Angelina Jolie, & because the United Nations seemed worthy of note), even hankered after a position in politics (after unforgettable experiences of becoming a little city official in our small siyudad). I couldn’t settle for anything, because each had its own appeal, & every single one was too good to pass up.


By the end of my senior year, I was as lost & confused as a little kid gone astray. I had so many aspirations, but I couldn’t decide. I had only two months to make a decision, so time was running out. I had so many choices, yet so little time to ponder. Out of nowhere, unsolicited advices came from relatives & elders: a successful lawyer, a retired teacher, a frustrated nurse, a well-known public servant. I know they meant well, but they added to my confusion rather than lessen my burden.


During the first few weeks of summer, whilst scanning through quotations in my computer, searching for something fancy to place in an article about hardwork & dedication, I came across an old Chinese proverb. “A wise man makes his own decisions; an ignorant man follows the public opinion.” It struck me as to how odd it was that I was in a dilemma such as this & stumble upon such a citation. The timing was perfect. It was definitely a sign.


I realized that what I wanted my life to be didn’t have to depend on what other people think; it is my future, so it has to depend on my decision. I shouldn’t decide on a course because it’s in demand, high-paying, or it’ll get me famous; what really mattered was if I would relish every moment of doing it. So what if I was on top of my job, well-known, & rich, if everyday I had to endure doing something that didn’t make me feel accomplished or happy? Well, I’m not saying I don’t want all that (who doesn’t?). I just want to achieve it while enjoying what I do. Logan Pearsall Smith got it right when he said, “There are two things to aim at in life: first, to get what you want; and after that, to enjoy it. Only the wisest of mankind achieve the second.”


I’ve made my decision as to what to take up in college. And I didn’t base it on anybody’s opinion rather than my own. I made up my mind to take up something I’m passionate about, something I consider a pastime, a hobby, a leisure pursuit.


I don’t know what the outcome of my decision will be. Nobody does. But whatever it is, I’ll be happy with the outcome; I shall be satisfied, knowing I heeded to my heart’s desire. In the end, tomorrow really doesn’t matter that much; what matters more is the present, right now. I’d rather live for the moment, instead of worry about the future. As what the famous Albert Einstein said: “I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.”

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And, just in case you're wondering, i'm taking up BA Journalism right now. =)