Sophomore Blues : Writer's Block

I am experiencing writer's block.

I finished ten Choco Crunchies in the last fifteen minutes, and am wolfing down the remaining 10 as we speak. I was hoping the chocolate would stimulate my brain and get it working. I guess all it'll be able to do now is travel down to my thighs and stay there. Ugh.

I have Yiruma's "River Flows in You" on repeat in my Media Player for the last half hour. I am still waiting for the calming, soothing effect it has on me, so I could start on my paper. I have yet to feel calm and soothed.

I have been seated on my bed for the past hour, with my eyes glued to the laptop screen. I try to type something coherent in my paper, but end up getting distracted by Robert Pattison's face. I just can't enough of Edward Cullen, in all his vampiric glory. Sigh.

I gaze over my laptop, and am reminded by the piece of Post-it stuck to the wall behind it: "Prove Yourself Wrong." Yes, I know it sounds wrong, but it works for me. It's a personal pessimism I am fond of.

I suddenly remember that it's June 29. Two things: it's my sister Pamelle's 13th birthday, and my SEA 30 paper for Sir Capili is due this midnight. I've already wished my sister a happy birthday thru text (she's in Davao); I promised her a belated gift when I come home for the sembreak. I wish I hadn't done that; I suck at keeping my promises. It's some sort of curse I have. I was wondering if they have support groups for promise-breakers, much like Alcoholics Anonymous or something.

As for the paper, I am stuck in a rut. Ugh.

A paper on the aesthetics of an Iskolar ng Bayan. Great. I wasn't even sure what aethetics meant up until now (I had to look it up in the dictionary, for fear that I was wrong). I have some ideas running around my head, but then I don't think they have any plans of getting out of mind right now. Darn.

I have approximately seven hours until deadline, given that I submit this at exactly midnight. Not good. Tsk. I am such a procrastinator.

Cramming used to be my gift. I wonder if I'd given it away unconsciously. Whoever has it, please give it back. I need it, badly.

I am experiencing writer's block.

Journalists don't have writer's block.

I know that means something. I just can't put my finger on it.