This was made on the account of boredom and an open laptop at around 2 AM. Unfortunately, I slept on it (No, Kuya Rene, I didn't drool on the keyboard. Last time was just a joke.), so I didn't get to post it until now. The choice of music was mine, for a change - it would freak me out if my brother had anything to do with it. So there. Read away.
*****
I seriously need to sleep early. I've been waking up past noon for over a week now, and trust me, it's not that good after the first few days. You wake up all dizzy and groggy from oversleeping and not having enough sleep at the same time, whatever that means. Sigh. But sleep's not caught up with me yet. Might as well do something to make me sleepy.
My phone been quiet the entire day. Which is weird, especially since it's my phone. Hindi ako nauubusan ng katext; if nobody texts me, I go on GM mode until somebody interesting enough replies. Well, that's how it goes when I use my Globe number; unfortunately, I'm using my Smart number. Maybe that's why. Whatever.
Maybe I should switch back to Globe now. I mean, I have my Smart number on the entire day, and I don't get a single message. OK, so I'm exaggerating. I did get a couple of messages today. But other than Ponyang's telling me that her debut's motif are gold and purple, and Ice reminding me that there's a beach outing with my high school friends this coming Friday, nothing much (or nobody of interest) made paramdam. Sigh.
Define nobody? Oh, I dunno. Somebody. Just somebody.
He's nobody, really.
*****
If Raniel ever gets to read this, he'd be laughing his head off when he finds out I have yet to wake up at seven. Seriously, I've tried. But everytime my alarm rings, I either sleep on it or turn it off and go back to sleep. Useless alarm. Maybe I should hook a pail of water over my head, attach it to a long rope, and have someone pull it when the clock strikes seven. But then, there would be the problem of who'd be awake at seven to do that. Sure, I could tell my mother / father / parents to do it, but then there really is no guarantee that they'd be awake by that time.
And then there's also the problem of the bed getting wet. Sigh.
Better stick to alarm clocks, then.
*****
Ack. I've sworn never to post his face as my wallpaper, yet here I am, gazing at us. Yes, us. At least he's not hogging the entire screen like he used to. And I do look good in this shot, so there's an excuse for me to set it as my background.
Awww. We look so cute together.
Darn. I can see the rosary. Delete. Delete. Delete.
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Something's wrong with Europe. It's becoming more and more... eeer, what's the term? It's on the tip of my tongue. Argh.
Let me get back to that later.
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I love what Beauty of PBB Teen Edition Plus (Yes, I do watch it. Impluwensiya ni Glenn.) said in last night's episode: "I appreciate what he (Alex) did, but I shouldn't appreciate too much." Of course, that's a paraphrased version. She wasn't that good in English.
No, this isn't a Beauty-bashing post.
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I just realized how much I missed his nose. And his smile. And his wicked sense of humor. How he makes fun of even the most mundane things. How he surprises me by suddenly talking about serious things, showing a deeper side of him that I know not of. How he treats me nicely, even if it's just pretend. How he just stands there, his presence enough for me, and nothing else.
I guess I really do miss him. And I'm not even sure who he is.
*****
For some weird reason, I suddenly thought about Nades. I dunno why. Then Twilight. Coffee Bean. Emo. Kalai. Our rooms, right across each other's. Chancellor Cow. Nades.
Shucks. I miss you na, Nadine.
*****
Did I ever tell you about this dream I had months ago? Somehing that's made such an impact on me, that up until now I still can't forget about it.
It was three days prior to New Year's, I think. I dreamt that I was seated on the steps of some ruins, right infront of an old church. There were three of us seated; I was in the middle of two boys, one my age and the other a kid. A man and my mother were standing before us, both holding a camera, trying to take our pictures. They asked me and the guy my age to sit closer. He was seated with his back slightly on me, and when he turned to face me, my heart stopped.
I dont' know why, but for some reason everything stopped that moment he looked at me. I moved closer to him, our bodies almost touching. Then I placed my head next to his.
I felt his cheek next to mine, how soft it was. I felt this jolt of electricity run down my spine.
And then I woke up.
-pau(L)otzki
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